Yes, a PIGLET
Ok, here is the #1, never-to-be-beaten best way to open an IM conversation.
This morning Terri pinged me and said:
So, my dog threw up a Piglet yesterday morning... 
See what I mean? Beat THAT.
(and, no, I'm not going to spoil Terri's story by explaining. She has so many opportunities to profit from this; write a children's book, write a horror story, compete at Toastmasters, appear on Ellen..limitless possibilities)